Behind the Scenes
by Skyla-chan.99
Summary: The sanity of the Generation of Miracles had to be questioned. Not only are they crazy and insane out of the basketball world, but they're starting to influence the other players. And not a single player was safe from their wrath. A collection of one-shots or drabbles about the KnB cast's lives outside of basketball. Cover image credits to the owner.
1. Chapter 1 - Old Lucky Items

**Disclaimer - **I do not own Kuroko no Basuke.

**A/N** \- So I just felt like writing some random one-shots for the KnB casts and so here I am... XD This is actually the first time I've stepped into the KnB fanfic world, so we'll see how things go. The one-shots in this story are most likely going to be unrelated with eachother, unless I actually write two chapters for one scenario, so yep. I hope you guys enjoy it!

* * *

**In which Takao finds out what Midorima does with all of his old Lucky Items... **

* * *

Takao stared at the stack of papers in front of his eyes that was prone to tumble and fall anytime soon.

When he had learned about the amount of worksheets he was supposed to complete by the next dawn, he was awe-struck. He felt like a lightning bolt just struck onto him.

Tomorrow was the day of the final exam and he definitely regretted begging Midorima to be his last-minute tutor, because now that he knew what he was going to be forced to do, he would be willing to do anything to just gain himself the chance to run away from the green-head's grasp.

Although Midorima stated that he was only doing this for Takao's sake, not to mention that Takao was the one that begged him for it, Takao truly believed that the green-head had seriously gone way over the limit. Judging by the lazy smirk that was plastered on the green-head's face, Takao knew that Midorima was, with no doubt, secretly enjoying the sight of him working his butt off to complete the challenging worksheets.

And what kind of tutor was that genius shooter when he never actually taught him anything?! All Takao's teammate did was sit there like a statue, watching over him struggling to finish the stack of papers.

Takao was definitely planning on complaining soon.

"Shin-chan...help me with this problem..." Takao wailed as he slumped down onto the table, arms crossed on top of the desk and head planted down on top of his arms. Midorima scoffed as he merely shifted his glasses up with his index finger in an unfazed manner.

"Learn to rely on yourself more, Takao," Midorima stated as Takao frowned, lifting his head up to meet the green-head's cold stare. Takao pouted as he immediately returned to the stack of papers.

His concentration didn't even last five minutes.

"Shin-chan..."

"What?"

"...I need help-"

"Do it yourself."

"What kind of tutor are you if you're not even going to help explain something this trivial to me?!"

"If it's trivial like you said, then you should be able to do it yourself."

Oh this green-head was seriously grating on Takao's nerves.

Takao's eyebrows twitched as he suddenly slammed his hands onto the table in anger, accidentally knocking down the unstable structure of the stack of papers in the process. As the papers scattered onto the ground, Takao blinked as Midorima's eyebrows twitched instead. Takao gulped.

Oh he was so screwed.

"...Takao," Midorima slowly said, as traces of menace, anger, and venom were clearly detected in each and every syllable of his name.

"Uh, I'll clean this up, okay?" Takao suddenly blurted out as he laughed sheepishly before sprinting around the room, gathering all of the papers into a neat pile once more. After crawling, cleaning, and inspecting for two minutes, he managed to collect all of the scattered papers that were previously dirtying the floors into a stack on top of the working desk once more.

That is...except one piece of paper that was stuck in a closet next to Midorima's bed.

"Shin-chan, there's one piece of paper stuck in your closet," Takao said as he grabbed the piece of paper and lightly attempted to pull it out of the closet doors, only to find it completely stuck in between the closet doors.

"What?" Midorima said with a sigh as he treaded over towards the piece of paper that was stuck in his own closet.

"Shin-chan, it's not going to come out if we just pull it out from the outside. I'm going to open the closet, okay?" Takao cheerfully stated as his hands grasped the closet doors and forcefully tried to yank the doors open from the outside.

"No wait, Takao!" Midorima suddenly protested.

"Hm?" Takao made a sound before the door suddenly slammed open...

Burying the poor guy in a mountainous pile of stuffed dolls and other many miscellaneous items.

Takao's cry for help was muffled by the amount of items he was buried under. Midorima made an annoyed sigh before he racked through the items to help his dear friend who was about to be suffocated to death by stuffed animals.

As Takao's head popped out of the mountain of items, he yelled out, "Shin-chan, what the heck?! Why do you have this many lucky items inside your closet?!"

"They're all used, Takao."

"Then you should just throw them away!"

"...They're important products in earning my money."

"WHAT?!"

And just as Takao was about to make another retort, the door suddenly slammed open as another member of the Shutoku basketball team popped in through the door to Midorima's bedroom.

"MIDORIMA, I'M SORRY FOR CALLING YOU A HOROSCOPE FREAK. CAN I HAVE A PINEAPPLE STUFFED DOLL?!" Miyaji suddenly screamed as Takao jumped from the sudden presence of his teammate.

"Miyaji-senpai? What are you doing here?!" Takao yelled as a pineapple-shaped doll was thrown across the room into Miyaji's hands. Takao turned towards the person who threw the doll, who was obviously none other than the other occupant of the room, Midorima Shintaro.

"What the...Shin-chan?!"

"Miyaji-senpai, because you have apologized, I'll give you a discount. A hundred yen."

"WHAT. YOU'RE SELLING HIM YOUR LUCKY ITEMS?!"

"Thanks a lot, Midorima!" Miyaji screamed as tears of joy flowed down his face. The member of the basketball team suddenly left the room in a haste, hugging his pineapple doll like it was a precious being, and left the two freshmen of the team alone in their private world once more.

Midorima shifted his glasses once more in a professional manner before he bended down to pick up the hundred yen that was left by Miyagi from the ground. As Midorima straightened his back, his eyes met Takao's blank ones.

"...What?"

"...So you actually sell your lucky items, huh, Shin-chan."

"...It's putting them into good use. Once the day has passed, they're nothing but useless items."

"But at the same time, those items can become someone else's lucky item, right?"

"Which is why I keep them all here in my closet for later use."

"...Shin-chan."

"...What is it, Takao?"

Takao suddenly slipped his hand into back pant pockets, grabbing out his wallet. He slipped his hands inside of them and pulled out a bank note. Midorima's eyebrows shot up immediately. Takao stared blankly at his green-head friend while holding the slip of money in his hands.

"Shin-chan."

"What is it, Takao?"

"...Give me that statue of a hawk behind you. I'll pay you five hundred yen."

And thus, Midorima had gained a new regular customer.

* * *

Otsubo, the Shutoku basketball team's captain, started to question his team's sanity as he spotted Miyaji flirting with a toy pineapple, Takao concentrating on polishing up a statue of a hawk, Kimura wearing a rainbow coloured afro head, and Midorima counting the amount of money in his wallet with a horrifying laugh that echoed eerily throughout the gym.

Otsubo sighed as he face palmed.

"...Time to find a new club to join."


	2. Chapter 2 - Dirty Misunderstandings

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kuroko no Basuke.

**A/N: **So hey, here's the second one! :) Thank you for the reviews, favs, and follows from the last chapter! I will try my best to update at least once a week. Life is actually pretty messed up for me right now...especially my schedule…it's a miracle that I managed to update this in the same week.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy this! :D By the way, I am not the best at making "_dirty_" lines so bear with me on this one...

* * *

**In which Aomine reads too deep between the lines...**

* * *

There were times where Aomine's 'dirty' state of mind could create misunderstandings. _Huge_ misunderstandings, especially when it involved a certain shadow and his new light.

It was still early in the morning and Aomine was making his way through the Seirin school gates, accompanied with his friend, Kise Ryota. The two had coincidentally met each other on their way to Seirin. Deciding that there was no harm in traveling together, they decided to walk side by side with each other, heading towards the same destination.

They had no particular reason as to why they wanted to visited Seirin. Kise probably wanted to see Kuroko and Aomine just wanted an excuse to skip practice.

"Aomine-cchi, did you really just want to see Kuroko-cchi or did you just want to skip practice…?" Kise suddenly asked as Aomine yawned, showing signs of fatigue. Kise deduced that the man was most likely reading "books" all night long.

"Of course it's the latter…why the hell would I want to see Tetsu?" Aomine answered with a roll of his eyes. He cracked his neck and stretched his arms out as Kise blinked.

"Because you miss him?" Kise suddenly said as Aomine choked on the fresh morning breeze, launching himself into a coughing-fit. Kise just merely stared at the tanned man, waiting for his retort.

"The hell, Kise? What made you think I miss him?!" Aomine answered as he returned back to his original state of health. Kise shrugged.

"What other reason would you have to come here? Well skipping practice was definitely an option…" Aomine suddenly snorted in the middle of Kise's sentence. Suddenly Kise blinked as his eyes grew wide. He whirled towards Aomine and pointed towards the man with shaking hands.

"D-Don't tell me…the person who you actually want to see is…KAGAMI-CCHI?!" As soon as he finished that sentence, a pair of tanned fists came whirling towards him, knocking him hard in the head, accompanied with a certain sturdy foot, kicking him in the stomach.

"Of course NOT you idiot! What gave you that ridiculous idea?!" Aomine yelled as Kise started wailing about the pain in his stomach.

"That hurts, Aomine-cchi…you didn't need to be _that_ violent…I'm fragile," Kise said with a pout as Aomine scoffed and brushed him off, walking towards the Seirin gym, their final destination.

"Fragile my ass…" Aomine muttered as he heard the sounds of footsteps behind him, hinting that Kise was treading after him.

The rest of the walk was peaceful and quiet. They both treaded through the campus grounds, listening to the birds chirping and the wind dancing around in the deep blue sky. It was still six thirty and they didn't expect anyone to be in school yet, but they wanted to surprise the shadow with their unannounced appearance.

But truthfully, they just wanted the shadow to feel how they felt when the blue-head suddenly popped up out of nowhere.

Before they realized it, they were both standing in front of the gym. Surprisingly, they heard the faint noises of a basketball, hitting against the court floor. It was a familiar sound to both of their ears, but what truly peaked their interest was _who_ was making that noise this early in the morning.

"The hell…someone's actually in there practicing this early in the morning?" Aomine said as Kise made a harsh 'shhh' sound, shutting up the tanned man.

"It's probably Kuroko-cchi…that means we're too late," Kise whispered with a sigh, sad that he had lost his chance in scaring the shadow.

"Guess we can go kill off some time before we go see him then," Aomine suggested as Kise nodded, the both of them about to leave the shadow to continue practicing his skills in the gym alone...

Until they heard a peculiar voice, that is.

_"Are you ready?" _

_"Yes…"_

_"Okay then, one more time…"_

Both Kise and Aomine stopped in their tracks. They both suddenly sprinted towards the gym once more and dropped onto their knees, listening to the sounds inside the gym, wondering the exact same thing: Who was Kuroko talking to?

_"Okay…but this way is a bit-AH!" _

Kise jumped, startled by Kuroko's small scream. "Aomine-cchi…w-what's going on?!"

_"Oi, be careful…the ball is going to slip from your hands…"_

_"I'm sorry Kagami-kun, but holding it this way is a bit awkward…" _

"Holy shit," Aomine suddenly muttered as Kise suddenly strangled the man, shaking him vigorously.

"What's happening to Kuroko-cchi?!" Kise suddenly yelled. Aomine pushed him off roughly, and slapped a hand over Kise's mouth.

"Kise…don't be shocked by what I'm about to tell you…" Aomine whispered as Kise nodded, patiently waiting for his answer.

_"That's because you're just not used to it yet…" _

_"I'm sorry, Kagami-kun, but holding it like this is just…" _

"Those two…they're probably…" Aomine started as he whispered the rest of his sentence in Kise's ears. Kise's eyes suddenly grew as wide as saucers, as the model's face grew red.

"EH?!" Kise yelled.

"Be quiet! Listen carefully…" Aomine muttered as Kise nodded.

_"Want me to show you first?"_

_"I don't think it'll help because when I hold the ball like this, it doesn't go in…"_

_"That's why I'm going to show you first." _

_"But…Kagami-kun is better at dunking it in, right? Wouldn't it better to just ask Hyuuga-senpai to help me…?" _

Kise gasped as he whirled towards Aomine. "Aomine-cchi! Is Kuroko two-timing?!"

Aomine nodded. "You're starting to understand, Kise."

"And dunking?! Oh god, I didn't know Kagami-cchi was so passionate and violent…" Aomine sighed and shook his head at the innocent, flabbergasted, and gaping model, who's face was still as red as a beet.

_"What?! Hyuuga-senpai is too much of an impatient person. You won't last long under his torture…" _

_"…That's true." _

_"Kagami-kun…we don't have that much time left…please hurry up and teach me how to do this properly." _

_"Alright, alright, you're so impatient…I'll make sure you can dunk the ball in correctly."_

"Shit, they're about to do it now, Kise," Aomine suddenly yelled as Kise leapt back in shock, eyes wide with horror.

"God no, we have to stop them!" Kise suddenly yelled.

"Yeah, we can't have them losing their virginities this fast. Although I'm not in the position to say that but screw that, I have to save Tetsu," Aomine growled as he suddenly jumped forward and kicked the gym door open, storming into the gym.

Kise slowly poked his head in, scared to see what was happening in the gym.

"Stop, you bastard Bakagami! Don't you fucking take _my_ light's innocence, you violent bastard!" Aomine screamed at the top of his lungs as he pointed a lone finger at the two players who were standing in the center of the court...

With just a ball in their hands, clothes all intact.

Aomine blinked.

His eyes rapidly blinked as he stared at the scene in front of his eyes. Kuroko had a ball in his hands and Kagami was in a shooting position at the three-pointer line. They were definitely not doing what he "thought" they were doing. He was dead wrong.

Kagami blinked at him, the newcomer, confused as to why the man was at his school and the fact that the man had just yelled something completely incomprehensible. Kuroko's blank stare was directed towards his old light...

But Aomine knew better than that.

He had known the shadow for at least three years and a half. They used to be best buddies and they wouldn't separate from each other, which was why Aomine knew exactly what the shadow was thinking now, no matter how much the shadow attempted to hide it.

Those eyes weren't blank, but they were twinkling with menace, venom, and anger.

At that moment, Aomine Daiki knew that he was officially screwed.

"…Aomine-kun…" the said man winced at the tone of the blue-head's voice. There was definite signs of anger there. "Would you mind repeating what you yelled just now? I didn't quite catch it…"

"Uh…w-wait, Tetsu…Kise thought up of that idea!" Aomine suddenly blurted out, pointing towards the blonde guy who was supposed to be right behind him, protecting his back...

But that man was long gone.

Aomine gaped as he turned around to see that his one and only savior had already disappeared without a trace. The tanned man gulped as he slowly turned back towards the shadow that was letting out a chilling aura.

"U-Uh, it was j-just a m-misunderstanding!" Aomine stammered as he took a step back. Kuroko took a step forward, as his hand that was holding the ball was suddenly held out in front of the tanned man.

"Ignite…"

"Shit, WAIT, TETSU NO!"

"Pass…"

"Oh holy fuck god, NO, I'm sorry I-"

"KAI!"

"SHIT!"

And the Generation of Miracle's ace suddenly flew out of the gym, running as fast as his little legs could carry him, making sure to dodge the attack that his previous shadow had just launched at him. He spun around one last time, just to make sure that the shadow wasn't following him.

Oh, he was there, his shadow, with five extra basketballs.

And for the first time in his life, the light was actually scared of his own shadow.

* * *

As the events dwelled on outside the gym, a certain red-head stood by himself in the desolated and abandoned gym. The red-head dropped the ball in his hands, blinked at the gym door that was wide open as sunlight poured in through the gaps, shining on him.

He blinked again as his mouth slowly opened, speaking three short words that best described the event that had just happened in front of his eyes.

"…What the fuck?"


	3. Chapter 3 - Toilet Peeking

Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroko no Basuke.

**A/N: **Hi again! Sorry for being so late…I'm kind of busy now. Another random idea just popped in my head…and I just felt the need to write it down…so here I am. XD I hope that you guys enjoy this one too! Thanks for the reviews, favs, and follows! And beware for craziness in this chapter… :p

* * *

_**In which Akashi gathers up the Generation of Miracles before the Winter Cup begins and leaves his teammates to wonder about his disappearance...**_

* * *

"Where the hell is he…?" Hayama Kotaro asked his other teammates as they all turned their attention to him.

Since they arrived at the stadium where the Winter Cups were being held, the one and only captain of the Rakuzan team had mysteriously disappeared. Although Akashi was not the kind of person to tell his teammates about his whereabouts, he was a timely person.

There was no way he would be showing up late to a match, unless he didn't plan on showing up in the first place. But if that were the case, he would have told his teammates beforehand about his absence from the match, yet the Rakuzan team members had not heard a single word from him about skipping their first match.

"There's only ten minutes left before our match starts…" mumbled Mayuzumi Chihiro as he stared at the clock, plastered on the wall in their team's locker room.

"True, it isn't like Sei-chan to show up to a match late like this…maybe something happened to him?!" Mibuchi Reo pointed out with a worried expression plastered on his face.

Hayama rolled his eyes. "We're talking about Akashi here. Even if he were to run into trouble, everyone would run away in fear after staring into those heterochromatic eyes of his."

"And if he had his scissors, he'd be practically invincible," Mayuzumi added.

"Maybe he went to find something to eat?" Eikichi Nebuya said as he threw another piece of candy into his mouth.

"That's what _you_ normally do, not Sei-chan," Mibuchi blankly stated as Nebuya shrugged, obviously not caring whether their captain was to show up or not.

"Maybe he went to the toilet," Hayama stated.

"For almost an hour?" Mayuzumi bluntly said as Hayama shrugged.

"Maybe he has diarrhea," Hayama added. Mibuchi suddenly scowled, stomping over to Hayama's side and stood in front of his teammate with his hands on his hips. Mibuchi glared at his teammate.

"Don't you dare speak of Sei-chan like that. Of course he doesn't have diarrhea," Mibuchi growled as Hayama frowned.

"What, so you actually know whether he has diarrhea or not? What, you've been in the toilet with him, Reo-nee?" Hayama asked bluntly as Mibuchi suddenly gasped in horror.

"Hayama! What are you saying?!" Mibuchi suddenly yelled out.

Mayuzumi rolled his eyes and sighed at his teammate's stupidity. "Hayama, of course he hasn't been in the toilet with Akashi. What were you even thinking, saying something like tha-"

"You better not tell Sei-chan that I peeked on him!"

Silence….

…...

…...

….

…..

"…What?" Mayuzumi suddenly said, mouth gaping open, breaking the awkward and eery silence that had previously filled the room, after Mibuchi's embarrassing confession. Mibuchi's face flared as it turned red.

"…Reo-nee, you perverted man," Hayama suddenly blurted out as Mibuchi screamed.

"NO, I AM NOT PERVERTED! BELIEVE IN ME, HAYAMA!"

"How can you even say that you're still innocent when you just confessed that you peeked on someone while they were shitting in the toilet?"

"DON'T USE SUCH VULGAR WORDS!"

"Hah? You're not my mother, Reo-nee!"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER! I'M TELLING YOU TO STOP USING SUCH LANGUAGE!"

"Would you guys just stop making a big fuss about everything?" Mayuzumi suddenly snapped at the two arguing children, directing both of their attentions at him. Mibuchi glared at Rakuzan's shadow.

"ARE YOU PICKING A FIGHT WITH ME, BRAT?!"

"No, I'm not. What even gave you that idea?"

"I SERIOUSLY HATE THE WAY YOU'RE TALKING TO ME RIGHT NOW!"

"I'm speaking normally."

"SEE? YOU'RE PICKING A FIGHT WITH ME!"

"Hah? What's wrong with you, today?"

"NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME."

"I beg to differ."

"Yeah, Reo-nee…calm down!"

"Mibuchi, want some candy?"

"NO, EIKICHI, NO! WHERE IS SEI-CHAN?! MY BELOVED SEI-CHAN!"

"See, Reo-nee? You're perverted to the core."

"I TOLD YOU I'M NOT, HAYAMA!"

"You know, if Akashi were to see you right now, it wouldn't be a pretty sight."

"…that's a good point, Mayu-kun."

"…and since when did you start calling me Mayu-kun? It was brat, up until now…"

"BUT I STILL CAN'T STOP WORRYING ABOUT HIM!"

"I can't take this anymore, someone go drag our captain here now before Reo-nee really snaps!"

"You go, Hayama."

"Hah? Why me? Mayuzumi, you go!"

"I told yo to go, Hayama."

"Where is Akashi when you need him…" *munch*

"I'm right here."

And as soon as a familiar voice echoed in the locker rooms, all conversations stop and silence filled the room. Just by having Akashi inside the room, his authoritative aura immediately shut everyone up, including the wailing Mibuchi...

…for now, that is.

"SEI-CHAN~! MY BELOVED, I MISS YOU! WHERE WERE YO-" squealed Mibuchi as he turned around to face his beloved, only to be fully shocked to the core with what he saw.

The one and only Akashi's hair had become shorter. MUCH shorter. And it bothered Mibuchi in every way possible.

"….NOOOOOO!" Mibuchi suddenly let loose a high pitched scream as tears welled up in his eyes. Everyone else in the room winced at the sudden loudness. Akashi's eyes twitched.

"Reo, be quiet."

"BUT YOUR HAIR!"

"I simply cut it."

"CUT? CUT IT? WHY?!"

"The long bangs were getting in my way, so I decided to cut them. Is it really that surprising, Reo?"

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! YOUR BEAUTIFUL HAIR…THOSE ROSES…THOSE PASSION-COLORED HAIR!"

"Reo, silence. Your repulsive voice makes my eardrums bleed."

"REPULSIVE?! HOW COULD YOU…I LOVE YOU SO MUCH…"

"Love? What are you even talking about?"

"YOUR BEAUTIFUL RED HAIR WAS SO BEAUTIFUL…IT SAVED MANY LIVES-"

"You mean only yours, Reo-nee."

"FROM WITHERING AND DYING IN UTTER UGLINESS."

"Reo, you're not making any sense. Our match starts in less than two minutes. Let's go."

"BUT YOUR HAIR!"

"What's done has already been done. Ignore it."

"But…BUT…"

"Reo-nee, just let it go already. Even if you can't admire his beautiful hair anymore, you still have his shitting form to admire, right?"

And after that sentence was said, the whole room immediately fell silent. Not a single person was willing to talk. Mayuzumi slapped a hand over his face, face palming. Nebuya dropped his bag of candies. Mibuchi gaped, his face turning as white as a sheet of paper in horror. Hayama blinked, confused. Akashi stared blankly at his teammate.

"…Kotaro. Do you mind elaborating?" Akashi's eyes dangerously glimmered as both Hayama and Mibuchi gulped.

If Hayama failed to explain the truth, he would with no doubt be slaughtered ruthlessly by the demanding emperor. On the other hand, if the truth was to be told, Mibuchi would never be allowed near his beloved again.

Mibuchi stared at Hayama, pleading for help. Hayama gulped, ignoring his friend and answered.

"…Reo-nee said he has always been spying on you while you were doing your job in the toilet…"

And at that moment, Mibuchi knew that he was screwed. Officially screwed to the point of being fucked.

_*snip* *snip* *snip* *snip*_

* * *

Shirogane, the coach of Rakuzan's basketball team strided down the hallways in the stadium, almost sprinting towards his team's locker room. There was less than two minutes before their match was to begin and none of his team's members had shown up.

As he reached the door of his team's locker room, he pushed it open, immediately yelling out, "OI, what are you guys doing?! It's almost time for the match to start. Hurry u-"

"KYAHHHHHHHHH~!"

Shirogane stared blankly at the scene in front of him.

Akashi, the cold and distant emperor, was now sprinting all over the room, trying to catch Mibuchi. He was holding a pair of scissors in hand, opening and closing them dangerously. Mibuchi was squealing and leaping around the whole room. Mayuzumi was quietly reading a book in the corner of the room. Hayama was cheering for Akashi to slaughter Mibuchi. Nebuya was munching on candies.

Shirogane blinked once at the scene in front of his eyes before he face palmed and sighed.

"…I quit."


	4. Chapter 4 - Papa Wallpaper

Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroko no Basuke.

**A/N**: Hey there! SORRY I AM LATE! My life literally sucks right now (exams) and I seriously had no idea what to write about. Again, this was a random idea that popped up in my head while I was reading some angst fanfics here (yeah, angst to write humor lol). So this may suck…because of lack of ideas…but oh well, at least I tried.

* * *

**In which Kise learns about Kuroko's "PAPA" and gets the Generation of Miracles involved in his own misunderstanding...**

* * *

"Kuroko-cchi~!"

Kuroko and Kagami turned towards the cheerful model, who was currently making his way across the road with a bright smile plastered on his face. Kuroko blinked as Kagami scowled in annoyance.

It was a Sunday afternoon and currently, Kagami and Kuroko were making their way towards Maji Burger to get their lunch. Kuroko and Kagami had planned to play street basketball together later on in the afternoon. As soon as Kagami saw the blonde model, skipping down the streets, he knew that something bad was definitely going to happen today.

Meeting the Generation of Miracles on a day off of school was definitely a bad omen, no doubt.

"What are you doing here?" Kise asked as he panted for air.

"We're just grabbing our lunch at Maji Burger," Kagami answered bluntly.

"What are you doing here, Kise-kun?" Kuroko asked back.

"I have a photo shoot around here," Kise answered with a smile and for once, Kagami actually thought in his head that the blonde was truly beautiful. Not that looks had anything to do with basketball skills, which was all he cared about.

"I see. Then, we'll be excusing ourselves now. See you later Kise-" Kuroko started, but his words slowly trailed off as his eyes landed on a certain figure, who was treading along on the other side of the street. Kise blinked.

"Kuroko-cchi? Is there something wrong?" Kise asked.

"Kagami-kun," Kuroko started as Kagami raised an eyebrow, waiting for Kuroko to continue. Kuroko pointed his finger at the person across the streets. Both Kagami and Kise's eyes followed. "Is that Otou-san?"

Kagami blinked. He narrowed his eyes as he stared at the person across the street and indeed, it was the one and only "Otou-san" from Shinkyo Academy that had given Seirin a hard time with his height.

"Oh, I remember him! That papa guy," Kagami suddenly said in surprise. "I didn't know that he was still in Japan."

"Well, he does learn in a school here, so I guess he's still around, Kagami-kun-"

"WHAT?!"

Both Kagami and Kuroko suddenly turned towards the gaping model who was staring at the shadow with large and alarmed eyes. Kuroko blinked as Kagami frowned in confusion.

"Is there something wrong, Kise-kun?" Kuroko asked.

"…HOW ARE YOU RELATED TO THAT TANNED MAN OVER THERE?!"

Silence…..

…..…..…..…..…..…..

…..…..…..…..

…..…..…..…..…..

…..….

…..…..…..

…..…..…..…..

"…Huh?" Kuroko and Kagami chorused.

"I DON'T GET IT. YOU TWO DON'T EVEN LOOK THAT SIMILAR…AND THAT TANNED SKIN IS WRONG IN MANY WAYS!" Kise screamed as he clutched his head with his two hands and started clenching his teeth in shock.

"…Uh, Kise-kun. I think you're misunderstanding somethin-" Kuroko started but he was cut short as the blonde model suddenly let out a scream. Kagami jolted in surprise at the ear-splitting scream.

"HE'S DEFINITELY NOT RELATED TO YOU! BUT WHY ARE YOU CALLING HIM OTOU-SAN?! KUROKO-CCHI!"

"Oi, Kise. Why are you talking as if Kuroko is related to Papa?!" Kagami suddenly said as Kise screamed again in horror.

"PAPA?!" Kise suddenly grabbed Kuroko with both of his hands and started vigorously shaking the poor guy. "WHAT DID THAT GUY DO TO YOU TO MAKE YOU CALL HIM PAPA?! ARE YOU OKAY, KUROKO-CCHI? DO YOU WANT ME TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS?!"

"Oi, Kise! You're choking him!" Kagami suddenly yelled as he grabbed Kise's shoulder to calm the poor blonde down. Kuroko coughed and panted for air as he held his throat lightly.

"I NEED TO INFORM AKASHI-CCHI ABOUT THIS!" and before Kagami and Kuroko could react, the man had already started sprinting away down the streets at full speed, knocking over stands and tripping over rocks as he frantically made his way through the raucous fray of chattering on the streets.

Kuroko blinked. Kagami blinked.

"…What the fuck just happened?" Kagami said as Kuroko shrugged and sighed.

"I'm not quite sure either, but I think I can guess what happened…and I fear for Otou-san's health," Kuroko answered.

Kagami didn't even want to know what Kuroko meant, but he pretty much knew that "Otou-san" was in for deep trouble. And in this case, deep meant the bottomless pit of _hell_.

* * *

"…So you're saying that Kuroko had called this guy Otou-san?" Akashi asked through the telephone as he panted for air.

He was currently in the Rakuzan training room, finishing up his training menu for the day. A few minutes earlier, he had felt his phone vibrating in his pockets. He pulled out his phone and checked whether the phone call was important or not.

After seeing Kise's name, he had hesitated, as to whether he should answer the call or not. In the end, he decided to answer it, because if he chose to ignore it, he predicted that the model would be yelling and screaming in ears the next time they met.

At first, Akashi had thought that the call would be about trivial matters and unimportant things, but after hearing Kise's incomprehensible babble about Kuroko and the word otou-san, he knew that this wasn't something to be ignored.

And he was right. It was an emergency.

"Ryouta. Call Daiki and the rest of the generation of miracles. Tell them to meet me at Seirin tomorrow in the morning," Akashi said through the phone call before pressing the end button.

Sliding his phone back into the pocket of his pants, he leapt back into action and continued his training from where he had left off...

But with a menacing grin on his face.

* * *

**Next day...**

"…Kagami-kun."

"…What?"

"…Is it just me or is that supposed to be Otou-san?"

Kuroko pointed towards the rooftop and Kagami's eyes sooner followed. There was less than ten minutes left before the first class begun and they were sprinting towards class, until Kuroko pointed out that indeed, the one and only "papa" was hanging upside down on a wooden plank up on the roof...

…With only a pair of underwear.

Or to be more exact, teddy bear printed underwear.

With pink flowers.

And all Kagami could do was gape.

"…What the fuck?!" Kagami yelled.

"…I wonder what he's doing there?" Kuroko asked.

But Kagami wasn't listening to his partner. He was completely focused onto the top of the rooftop and he swore that he saw a glimpse of a certain group of rainbow-heads. He stared blankly up at the roof and took a few steps backwards, trying to get a clearer view of what was happening up there.

And then he saw it.

His eyes were not binoculars, so he couldn't clearly see what was going on up there, but he had a pretty good idea.

Akashi was holding some kind of stick in his hands, which he assumed to be a pair of scissors. Kise had a black box in his hands, which was with no doubt, a camera. Midorima was carrying a pair of heart-printed boxers, which was definitely his lucky item. Aomine was brutally beating the poor "Papa" on top of the wooden blank that was tied onto the rooftop.

And Murasakibara was merely watching while munching his bag of potato chips.

And Kagami face palmed.

"Kagami-kun?" Kuroko asked once again. Kagami blankly turned towards his partner and answered Kuroko's previous question with a sigh.

"…You don't want to know."

Kuroko wasn't quite satisfied with such an ambiguous answer, but he decided that maybe he didn't really need to know after all. So Kuroko just shrugged and sprinted off to class, now that they had less than three minutes until class would begin.

Kagami stared at his disappearing shadow. After Kuroko sprinted into the building and disappeared, Kagami smirked. He reached into the pockets of his pants and pulled out his phone. He flipped it open and aimed the phone at the scene on the rooftop. He zoomed in.

_*SNAP*_

And he smirked again.

"…Nice wallpaper."


	5. Chapter 5 - Insanity

Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroko no Basuke.

**A/N**: Yo, peeps. I'm back. So I was bored and drunk today and I came up with five random drabbles about the GoM. I swear I have no idea what the hell I just wrote. Hope you guys at least leave a review, whether it's good or bad, before you leave :)

* * *

_**In which Kagami experiences first handed how annoying &amp; crazy the GoM truly are... (Five Drabbles)**_

* * *

**1\. Photos **

Kagami had no idea how the hell he ended up in front of the Kaijou school gates. He was bored and decided to leave his house to take a walk and somehow, god just made his own feet walk towards the school. So now, he was blankly staring at the school building, wondering whether he should just go home or not.

In the end, he decided to walk right in. With nowhere to go, his eyes spot the Kaijou basketball gym. Being the basketball idiot he was, he found himself treading through the school grounds, heading towards the gym...

...Though he found himself stopping in front of a vending machine near the gym, for in front of the vending machine was a familiar blonde-head model, who had one of his hands pushing against the machine as his mouth mumbled incoherent words.

The first thing Kagami Taiga thought about this scene was that one of his basketball rivals was talking to a machine. A FUCKING VENDING MACHINE.

Curiosity killed the cat and Kagami had to wonder why the model was literally talking to a machine, so he crept closer. Kise was holding his phone and there was a photo of someone plastered on the screen. He squinted his eyes and tried to find out whose photo was in the model's phone. Could it be his girlfriend? Or maybe some hot blonde chick?

But what was shown on Kise's screen was far from a hot blonde chick in Kagami's dreams (not Alex). It was a certain blue-head from his own team. Kagami raised an eyebrow, wondering why Kise was staring at his dear shadow's photo in front of a vending machine.

Then, Kise literally used his other free hand to clutch his own heart, face scrunched up in pain. Kagami's eyes widened as he saw the blonde-head tumble over, falling onto his knees, breathing heavily and soon enough, Kagami found himself sprinting towards the male in pure horror and worry.

"OI, KISE, ARE YOU OKAY-"

*sniff*

He froze mid-step. Did he just hear...a sniff?

"Kagami-cchi...w-why are you here?" Kise stammered, eyes glistening with tears.

"What? I...uh...wandered here somehow...like I don't know, my feet just walked here..." and even Kagami the idiot knew that the more he talked, the more ridiculous he sounded so he shut himself up and waited for the blonde to respond.

"...If only...you never existed..." Kise muttered as he slowly stood up again, this time, face flaring red with anger.

"What...? K-Kise?" Kagami backed away, confused and scared by the sudden change.

"IF ONLY YOU NEVER EXISTED..." Kise ran towards Kagami with his fists clenched. "THEN KUROKO-CCHI WOULD HAVE COME WITH ME TO KAIJOU!"

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" Kagami screamed in horror as he immediately sprinted away from Kise.

"GIVE KUROKO-CCHI BACK TO ME...HE'S MINE!"

"NO, DUDE CALM DOWN! ARE YOU MAD BRO?"

"DON'T START USING AMERICAN WORDS ON ME, YOU BASTARD!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! GET AWAY FROM ME!"

"YOU COME BACK HERE AND LET ME PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE AT LEAST ONCE!"

"OH MY GOD, YOU'RE DRUNK, KISE! I'M OUT OF HERE MAN!"

Kasamatsu stared blankly at the scene in front of his eyes. He had no idea why his kouhai was chasing after Kagami Taiga looking all mad and angry, but he knew that it was wise to stay out of the fight...though he had to admit that their repulsive voice was interrupting the team's basketball practice.

"What's going on?" Moriyama suddenly asked from inside the gym. Kasamatsu merely sighed as he closed the gym door.

"Nothing. Just a tiger on the loose."

* * *

**2\. Kerosuke **

Kagami was taking a stroll through the park. He treaded through the green grass and made his way to the sidewalk. For once, he was finally alone. He didn't have to deal with his stupid teammates or the generation of idiots. He finally had a basketball-free day and it was truly peaceful.

"I told you, Shin-chan! I didn't mean to do that!"

...Or so he thought.

In front of his eyes were a familiar basketball first year pair. Takao was on the floor, kneeling down in front of his green-headed partner, begging for forgiveness. Midorima was sulking and his face showed signs of shock and horror.

"TAKAO, HOW COULD YOU?!"

"I told you, I didn't mean to do it!"

"But you still killed it!"

"By accident, Shin-chan, I swear!"

"Oi, what the hell happened here?" Kagami suddenly asked, earning both of their attentions.

Takao suddenly turned towards him, clutching at his pants. "Kagami, oh my god, save me! I accidentally killed Kerosuke!"

"What? You killed someone?!"

"I didn't mean to do it!"

"TAKAO, HE GOT CRUSHED UNDER A CAR!"

"Yeah, but I didn't mean to knock him off your shoulder!"

"Wait what, shoulder?" "TAKAO, YOU MURDERER!"

"No, I'm not a murderer!"

"Okay, what the fuck is going on?!"

Midorima pointed towards Takao. "He killed Kerosuke!"

"And who the fuck is Kerosuke?!" Kagami yelled in annoyance.

"A TOY FROG!" Midorima and Takao chorused as Kagami did a double take and gaped.

"Oh my freaking god, are you guys seriously bickering over a frog?!"

"KEROSUKEEEEEEE!"

* * *

**3\. Romeo &amp; Juliet **

"Oi, Kagami...what the hell are we doing in the library?" Aomine's voice echoed throughout the public library.

"Because Kuroko had asked us a favor to get a book for him. Were you even listening to me this morning?!" Kagami growled in annoyance as his eyes swept across the bookshelf, trying to find a certain book Kuroko had requested for.

Aomine yawned and rubbed his post-sleep eyes. "Who the hell would be able to listen properly when someone just barged into their house at 6 am in the morning?! And why do we even need to come here at 8? Can't Tetsu wait?"

"He needs that book for a report that's due tomorrow. Momoi asked him out for a date and he couldn't refuse, so he asked me to get it for him instead," Kagami answered as he suddenly found the book he was looking for. He pulled the book out.

"DATE? That Momoi...since when did she even plan thi- Oi. What the fuck are you doing with that book?" Aomine suddenly asked as he pointed to the book in Kagami's hands.

"Obviously, it's the book Kuroko asked for," Kagami answered bluntly.

Aomine gaped. "He asked for Romeo &amp; Juliet?! By that Shake something guy?" Aomine yelled.

"Shut up, it's not like I wanted to read this stupid romantic play," Kagami snapped back.

"It's not even written in human language!" Aomine added.

"No actually, it is written in English," Kagami pointed out, much to the tanned man's surprise.

"What? You can read English?!" Aomine yelled, obviously shocked.

"Ha? I lived in America for a long time, you know," Kagami explained as Aomine nodded in understanding.

"...Oi then can you read it for me?"

"What? I thought you didn't want to read this sappy story."

"No I don't want to know the whole story."

"Then what do you want me to read?"

"Kagami, if you can, translate a certain scene into Japanese for me."

"What scene?"

"I want to read the sex scen-"

"GO DIE, YOU ASSHOLE."

"Awww..."

* * *

**4\. Killed **

"Kagami-chin...what did you do?" Murasakibara Atsushi's voice echoed throughout the room. There were traces of malice and anger found in his voice. Kagami gulped, obviously feeling intimidated by the dangerous aura the giant was giving out.

"H-Hey, I apologized didn't I?" Kagami stammered.

Murasakibara's eyebrows twitched as his fists clenched. "Kagami-chin, how could you do something this cruel?" Murasakibara, clearly upset said.

Suddenly, Kagami dropped down onto his knees in front of the giant. "I didn't mean to do it!"

Murasakibara crept closer to Kagami with a scowl on his face. "You killed it...you killed it!"

"I'm sorry, okay?! Calm down!"

"How can I calm down?! YOU KILLED IT."

Kagami, who was quite annoyed by the giant's childish actions, suddenly screamed out loud: "Oh for fucks sake, I didn't mean to eat your Maibo!"

* * *

**5\. Height **

Kagami had no idea how it happened, but he was currently in a sports shoe shop with the one and only Akashi Seijurou. It was a pure coincidence that they had met inside the same shop. Kagami tried to make sure that the emperor wouldn't notice his presence but sadly, he wasn't a shadow man like Kuroko.

Akashi immediately spotted him, though the emperor kept quiet about it. Kagami, not realizing that the emperor had already spotted him, continued his own business of finding a new pair of basketball shoes.

He walked through the aisle, eyes wandering around the different models on show in the store. Although he tried to ignore the other redhead in the store, he couldn't help but wonder what the emperor was doing. Kagami saw that Akashi was staring intently at a pair of shoes on the highest shelf in the store.

He blinked. Could it be that the man wanted that pair of shoes but couldn't reach it?

Being the nice guy, Kagami reached up to grab the pair of shoes and handed it to the emperor. "Here. You couldn't reach it, right?"

The emperor stayed silent, having his pride shattered to pieces. He stared at Kagami. "Thank you, Kagami-kun. Would you happen to be willing to sell me your legs?"

Kagami choked on his own saliva, clearly not expecting such a ridiculous proposal from the emperor. "W-WHAT?!"

"Basketball players who are tall typically have an advantage in a game, not to mention they can reach higher things. Would a hundred million yen be enough for you to-"

"Oh my god, what the fuck are you even talking about?!"

"I want your legs."

"That sounds really wrong!"

_***snip snip snip* **_

"Taiga, one hundred million yen isn't a bad offer. Just accept it."

"WHAT KIND OF OFFER IS THAT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE?!"

"A good one."

"OH MY GOD, GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU PSYCHOTIC FREAK!"

* * *

"Kuroko, how the hell did you manage to be with these guys for three whole years?!" Kagami screamed out loud throughout the whole Maji Burger store, disrupting the peace in the store as all eyes turned towards him.

Kuroko merely stared blankly at his partner and shrugged, slurping on his milkshake.

"...I just got used to it."


	6. Chapter 6 - Pick-Up Puns

Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroko no Basuke.

A/n: Okay, so holy shit, it's been almost a fucking year since I updated this story and I don't even know what to say but omfg I'm so sorry. I'd apologise as much as Sakurai would if I had to but still, SUMIMASEN- This drabble is kind of cliche and all with Izuki, but then again, when you think about Izuki, the first thing that comes to mind is just PUNS PUNS PUNS and PUNS.

_Note: The pickup lines used in this drabble were not created by me (I'm not talented in that area). I found them on the internet. A few were from a website called pick up lines galore dot com. Another, if you search "10 pick-up puns nobody will resist", it will lead you to the website. _

* * *

_**In which Moriyama decides to teach Izuki all about picking up girls and chaos ensues (because why not)...**_

* * *

By all means, Moriyama Yoshitaka was a talented young man - especially in regards to his basketball skills. Compared to the rest of his teammates, he was considered intelligent and blessed appearance-wise. If Kise was not part of the basketball team, he would have been no doubt nominated as the best looking member in the basketball team.

However, he had a fatal flaw. His overly flirtatious personality was what made most girls- no screw that, _everyone_ cringe. Most girls were beguiled by his charming appearance, but the way that he presented himself to others just made them want to bury themselves into a hole; it was _that_ bad.

Despite the obvious culprit behind his unpopularity, the man himself was completely oblivious to this fact and continued believing that he was handsome and wanted by most girls, much to his teammates' chagrin. Though his teammates would never say it in front of the man's face, they believed that he was in complete denial.

Kobori, being the motherly-figure in the team once confronted Kasamatsu about whether they should help the poor man, but Kasamatsu dismissed him immediately, saying that some things just cannot be fixed...

Yet none of them knew that their decision to ignore their teammate's problems would lead to a disaster befalling on a completely different individual.

* * *

"Izuki, did something happen?" the point-guard turned towards his captain, who was creeped out by the fact that his dear friend was radiating out an overly flowery aura. Izuki merely continued on smiling as he walked side by side with Hyuuga.

"Nothing happened. Why?" Izuki replied as Hyuuga sweat dropped.

"Uh...I was just wondering why you looked so happy today," Hyuuga muttered as he scratched the back of his head, feeling a migraine making its way up to his head. At the moment, both of them were walking around in town, searching for new sports equipment, including basketball shoes. However, he had noticed that something was clearly off about his companion and when he meant off, he meant it in a disturbing way.

"Oh- Hyuuga, don't you think that girl is cute?!" Izuki suddenly hollered as he pointed towards a young girl who was walking alone in the mall. Before Hyuuga could even reply, however, the man was already bouncing his way towards the young girl.

"WHA- IZUKI, YOU BASTARD, GET BACK HERE," Hyuuga yelled out after his dear companion, but it was too late as he watched the young girl turn around to stare at his friend. Hyuuga mentally sighed before he face palmed, moving his way behind a pillar in order to conceal himself from view.

He definitely did not want to be Izuki's friend at the moment.

"Hey there, cutie pie," Hyuuga cringed as he heard his friend talk to the girl who was obviously confused at the sudden interaction with a complete stranger. He immediately prepared himself for his friend's horrifying attempt at courting a woman...

However, he definitely did not expect the string of words that came out of his friend's mouth.

"Do you know what's on the menu?" Izuki suddenly said, as the girl cocked her head in inquiry to the side. "Me-n-u, that's what."

Behind the pillar, Hyuuga almost threw himself down onto the ground in shock. He gaped as he listened to what his friend was saying. Although he expected his friend to completely fail at picking up a girl, he would not in a million years expect his friend to incorporate puns and pick up lines together.

"Are you perhaps from Seoul? Because I think that you're my soulmate," Izuki continued to blab on as the girl trembled in fear and horror at what the man in front of her was saying. Hyuuga felt like killing himself right then and there.

"Do you know what my T-shirt is made out of? Boyfriend material."

"I don't know if you're in my range, but I'd sure like to take you back to my domain."

"Is your name Wifi? Because I'm really feeling a connection."

"Let me tie your shoes, because I don't want you falling for anyone else."

At this point, Hyuuga could no longer keep it in and decided to leap out and drag his teammate forcefully away from the frightened young girl. He apologised to the young girl for his teammate's behaviour and pulled his teammate with him out the mall.

"Wait- Hyuuga, I almost got her! YOUNG GIRL, CAN I FOLLOW YOU HOME? BECAUSE MY PARENTS ALWAYS TOLD ME TO FOLLOW MY DREAMS-"

"IZUKI, SHUT UP."

"I THOUGHT HAPPINESS STARTED WITH H. WHY DOES MINE START WITH U-"

"THAT'S NOT EVEN A PUN ANYMORE, IZUKI."

* * *

There were times where Kasamatsu Yukio wished he belonged to a different basketball team. As much as he liked being Kaijou's captain, sometimes, he wished that his team wasn't completely overrun by a bunch of idiots. His teammates seemed to be causing problems for him, no matter where they were located on earth. For heavens sake, he wouldn't be surprised at all if someone called him to inform him that his teammate was currently wrecking havoc somewher-

*RING* *RING*

Kasamatsu's eyebrows twitched at the noise. For some odd reason, he felt like this was a call he would not enjoy answering. However, being the responsible man he was, he had no choice but to answer the call, since there was a possibility that it was urgent business that needed his attendance - though there was a ninety nine point nine percent that it was most likely his teammates messing things up again.

"...Yes?" Kasamatsu reluctantly answered his phone, waiting for news about his teammates.

"...Is this Kasamatsu-san?" a familiar voice was heard from his phone.

For a second, Kasamatsu almost dropped his phone in shock. Although he had Seirin's captain's phone number, he did not expect the young captain to call him. The only plausible reason why the man was calling him...would only be because something had happened which involved a certain group of idiots he was well acquainted with.

"Yeah, is that you, Hyuuga?" he replied.

"Yeah, there's something that I would like to tell you before things get even more out of hand," Kasamatsu felt a migraine making its way up to his head. "Would you mind making sure that Moriyama Yoshitaka keeps his hands off Izuki for a while? He's been an interesting influence and I really don't need that shit right now."

The caller immediately hung up, leaving Kasamatsu seething with anger alone on the streets in the middle of the night.

The next day, the Kaijou members wondered why Moriyama's training menu was the only one that had been quadrupled.


End file.
